Changes

I wish I could freeze time. Stop life from moving from what I’m used to, comfortable with, secure in. I want to think that my parents will be here in my life forever, that they will always be a part of my familiar surroundings. I want to think that my little baby sister will always be our baby and that she’ll always be there to play with. It shocks me when I cast my mind back to a happy moment of yesteryear and then realise that so much has changed since then, that things are no longer the same. They were younger then, not as frail. She was still at home, a constant in my world. Yearning for the past is pitiful because that’s when life begins to unravel and to lose its sense of meaning. When we stop anticipating the future, that’s when life stops. And so with considerable effort, I change my paradigm and cast my mind forward. I will never enjoy change, but I know it is inevitable, and so I welcome it. Change can grow us, but I would rather be grown and ready for change. So prepare me for what’s ahead, God. Help me to be brave.

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